More fish… in the wood work


So I’m one of those whom stay in touch with everyone including exes. Who has the time to make enemies I say.  I discovered someone was attracted to me over Christmas. I hadn’t gotten to know Beanie because we were surrounded by others but he had taken my number to offer me a lift home. After exchanges of messages, he reveals how he feels since meeting me, of he couldn’t stop thinking about me over the busy festive period. I asked if he was involved, and he said sadly yes, he had just started seeing someone for a few dates and didn’t feel what he had hoped with her. He retracted his answer to go for a drink originally, with both of us understanding. I’m not one to want to ruin anything between two people and I offered best wishes for him. I didn’t even know if i liked him yet, but because we would be around each other again next Christmas, I wanted to clear the air and offered I held no resentment and would be still friends.

Then only days ago, on Friday I heard from Beanie Man. He apologised for the delay and he was in town. He had had a few drinks. My mind raced as to why now, why was he contacting me. He no longer was with her. Understood. He hadn’t been able to get me out of his mind.

I was to have a busy weekend. 2013 has been a great start. I had made big decisions in 2012 to take on smaller projects, so I could have more time for me, for my friends and people around me that matter. I have a strong base of friends, but I felt I was always in a rush dashing from one event to the next, that 2013, already I feel a difference, a breath of fresh air catching up with people I haven’t spoken in years and meeting new halves and I’ve yet the challenge of meeting new babies in addition. So i hadn’t had any chance to think if I had thought of Beanie Man or even where I was to be. I made my mind 2013 will be more of a Yes year. I am not on a race to find “The One” as they say. So why not enjoy myself.

“I don’t know how to speak to women, that’s why I’m single” Beanie Man claimed to me. Whoa. How did the conversation between us get so deep already? I must admit, he wasn’t that great at hearing how he sounds. He was one of the younger ones (which I will no doubt have that as one of my posts) but were younger men on a different level of only thinking about themselves? By just that single statement, it somehow stayed in my mind. One minute we are messaging each other, then we are being adult by letting each other get on with your own life, and now he is back in contact. What is it he wants? More to the point, do I still want to know? I guess that statement sticks in my mind, as to why do most younger men feel the need to mention

“I’m not looking for anything serious as I’ve just broken up from a four year relationship” says Grad, after having asked me out for drinks before Christmas.

It’s as if by saying such bold statements, they have built a fence around so that nothing in the slightest was to happen. In my mind, all i can think of is “Hell yeah. Who’s buying first round?” Are relationship issues on men’s minds more than we assume?

I had met Tyler at an Photography exhibition late Autumn last year. He was very kind, a gent. We had hooked up, but I never heard from him again. That is till two days ago over the weekend. So in the space of couple of months, I have had people who I haven’t heard in months, and out of the blue, want to contact me. The only similarities I have between them is they are younger. Tyler contacted me with a what I’d admit to as quite a good apology for his lame action as he didn’t know how to approach me, yet he knew his silence was not at all classy. This was his attempt at correcting such fault that he was aware of. I’ll post more about Tyler, but he wants to talk to me, at the same time, he is saying “I don’t want to lead you on like some dickhead”, “Fun is fun” and in the same breathe he is wanting to be friends and see where we go, being not a fan of casualness. I replied in a swooping message which made him chuckle, that I wasn’t asking him to get married. He laughed saying he just weren’t used to such directness. It hit home for him, that in no way had I suggested commitment, but only a drink and how his New Years was.

How is it young men today are carrying so much baggage so early on?

Beanie’s personality reminds me of one of my exes. The need to state where he is and what it will be, is his way of controlling so he won’t get hurt or be where he doesn’t. I’ve encouraged Grad to get out there, go travel, go meet people. He can’t be wanting to see me, at the same time open up that he has just left a four year relationship. That’s got baggage written all over it. Then we have Tyler. Him wanting to calmly meet me, wants to know me, but doesn’t want to draw sign any papers.

So i have a few possible dates lined up. As Single girl coming back out to play in 2013, I have a strange sense of being in control. I can choose if I want to go on these dates. I can choose what dates as to what an when. After all, it is just a drink. A meeting, face to face, see how we get on. Enjoy several hours together with company. As i clear more diary space for life, it’s important, as dates, more than or just as friends, the people you choose to spend those hours with, should end result make you smile. Laugh even. My perspective is to take it a day at a time. If things weren’t meant to happen, then you never know, timing may not be right and there’s plenty of fish in the wood work….

SITC

– xx –