“Can’t stop smiling”

…is what I posted and similar status updates recently. Responses of all humor are quick and fast and assumptions of a recent Valentine day is the result of that.

I disagree and set it straight “Nope, not in love. Just high on life. All is swell”.

And that is the truth. Today I am going to have one of my adventures with a friend to catch up. Out of town, and a cultural weekend, exploring the grounds of Hampton Court and the famous maze. I have my mini rucksack packed, train tickets purchased and about to leave the desk for a day without comms and just simply getting out in the fresh air.

I recently had to R&R from any activity of intense sports, due to an injury, fed up of being on the sidelines. I’ve since had consultations, scans, stretched, poked and all many snippets of wisdom thrown at me. Days ago, I’ve now had the all clear of any major surgery needed, and I’ve been instructed for six weeks, to cycle, which is not my favourite) but slowly work back up, no more than an hour each time, and then to return back for a visit. I may not be keen on cycling, but I am just very very happy I am allowed now back for some gymerama action!

I also last night had spent the last 48 hours, been over negotiations on a work brief offer, and due to asking, confidence of my own capabilities, general reasoning all with manners, arrived with them twice raising the bar for me, and no disgruntled people, but instead understanding and a happy SATC girl with a new longer term project to work on, starting Monday. Most importantly is that last year I had left permanent work to take time out and now I am lucky I am able to choose what projects I want to take on. I would only take on longer work, if I am happy with the company and if I enjoy the people. This reflected how much they are keen to listen and make sure I am content and I am looking forward to enjoying this weekend, as a normal weekend with bit more of a routine now in place for the next several months.

My nephew when I saw him for New Years recently would cling to me. He would ask me to sit next to him for dinner, and I was always selected to join in his games. Aww. I may not have a clue about children and little people, but he never cries or misbehaves around me, he warms up to me, and It’s fun to watch him speed through counting in French as well as our native languages, being multi lingual, touch type and interact as if second nature and just instinctively very very observant. A delight to be his auntie and be around him growing up.

What else. Gosh, just general catching up with friends and getting back on track, why would I need to have to rely on someone to be happy? I’ve already mentioned in some of my posts, of the nature I am, I am one of those annoying people you find, always happy. Yes I am generally laughing at everything, and wanting to help others first, but right now, I am, reverting back to the title and point of this blog, I am single and “I can’t stop smiling” I wrote this particular post, as it is genuine  it is real time, and perhaps showing it is okay to be happy and makes a change for people to try look for all the things you already have in front of you. Right, i better run, else I will be late for my adventure! Have a lovely weekend!



Before you nothing else matters. Nothing.

Im not a stranger to having friends by either gender, good friends I mean. Following on from wedding theme, I tend to notice, the looks you get from your newly married good friend (who happens to be male)’s new partner when he tells her he’s just going down the pub with a few friends. I’ve lost sight of many good friends, who aren’t allowed or best not to “just meet up with friends”. Sad I know. I simply have to accept that it’s not me, but a lack of security and trust between them.

This one incident intrigues many of us who had formed a particular close knit gang for many years, spent evenings playing games, travelled abroad together, and celebrated crazy birthdays and family occasions together. We all basically grew up like the Wonder Years gang. We began to recently notice in the past year or so, is we began to see less of him. More worryingly so was when one of our friends was instructed by the wife

“that we don’t talk about certain holidays”, because this was before her arrival into our friend’s life.

She is a sweetheart and stunningly attractive. Yet to her (lets call her Miss Green), and our group, we are not to bring up anything pre-Green. No memories, no laughs, no stories. She doesnt want to feel left out I suspect. But there are many things that have happened pre-Green. For instance, the beautiful wedding of our other friends, the hilarious school days when we used to run riots in the science labs, or when we each bought our first cars, pushing it the limits as The Stig, the evolution of friendships and relationships are built from memories, and history. To her these things do not exist. It’s a shame I say. Yes there may be skeletons you are not ready to face, but you cannot erase your half’s past, just because you were not in it.

I say embrace every little thing you learn about your girlfriend or husband. That is the best bit, as you get to know them a bit better. Them wanting to share means that they trust you and want you to be part of their life. Everything that has happened, has happened. You cannot keep the worlds pre-Green and post-Green apart as much as you’d like control. You may not understand the school jokes, but get to know them, as you would only be bottling and suffocating the richness and personality of what makes them unique and special to you, and it will be you the one who isn’t sharing or understanding the jokes and be standing alone.


– xx –