Single. Engaged. Married. Separated. Divorced. Where is “Started to see someone”, or “Not looking right now” How about “Single father and difficult to date?” I’ve lost count the number of times people tease is that your new man? Or who’s the new fella. Why do we feel the need to have a title of what level you are at? It shouldn’t become a race or comparison with others, and if it were a race, who says everyone is aiming to be Married status?
I’ve had a friend who went on one date, and during it had changed their relationship status as “In a Relationship” before the dinner was over.
I have a rule where I will not have anyone I am intimately involved on any of social networks, especially Facebook. I remain friends with my exes and all is great. Though it does not go to say that everyone has that fortune, and there will also be the exe’s new half. Or your current beau. It digs up photographs of the past and questions such as who they are, do they look happier back then, where was I in that photo, or the comparison thought of do I resemble or look better than he or she? Whether you are a couple that is open to each other, with nothing to hide, there will always be niggling thoughts at the back of your mind, that starts to create that little green monster in everyone. You need to feel secure or have the knowledge that you are first in his life.
This has happened to myself, where I have seen people, and they build arguments based on an innocent picture taken when everyone is having a great time at a party or seated at a dinner party. “Who’s that with his arm around you?”, “That guy is definitely trying it on, look how sleazy he is” eeer.. that is my fitness instructor? or my cousins uncle? I cannot have anyone that is feeling like that and more so, saying unpleasant untrue things about people that matter to me over some small jealousy for the need to have control and be possessive Who that person is when we go out who smiled at me for holding the door, or why do i have to be friends with him. I did the reassuring thing, but arguments after arguments over nothing, can be draining and watching what you wear for the sake of preventing that “look” on the way out on a night with the girls, was simply not for me. He had to go. Another one bites the dust.
A friend of mine The Ref had broken up with his ex, The Gem. The Ref and The Gem had parted mutually. She wasn’t for him. They were constantly bickering, on and off like a lighthouse light in the storms. When they finally parted, you’d think The Ref would be able to move on. He had thought it was nice to remain friends afterwards and keep her on Facebook. Big mistake. The Gem began trawling through The Ref’s pictures knowing what he would be up to on an hourly basis, now that she was no longer seeing him. It was as if a monster had taken over her. She would message and then go through The Ref’s’ friend’s Facebook pages and girlfriend’s timelines and updates, and then get on the phone accusing who these females were and then end up shouting and then in tears. This was not good. This was not healthy. Looking out for our friend, we had to tell The Ref, he had to not remain friends with her on Facebook. She was beginning to lose sight of reality and needs to start afresh. If she can’t do it on her own, we highlighted that she may need his help. Last time our group caught up with The Ref, he informs us that The Gem one day all of a sudden just removed herself from his Facebook. Two years later. Good for her.
So for me. My Facebook is ex free and i can be myself, smile whomever, share whatever shots, put up any status updates I want, and best of all, I keep my status and private life just that, private.
– xx –